Parastas or pomană: understanding the difference

The parastas is the memorial prayer service performed by the priest, with prayer and coliva. The pomană is the charitable gift — food, objects — made in the name of the departed's soul. They are usually held together.

It is the memorial prayer service performed by the priest for the soul of the departed, consisting of prayers, the reading of the name, and the blessing of the coliva, at set intervals after death.

It is the charitable gift made in the name of the departed's soul — food, drink, colaci, and also objects such as vessels, clothing, or candles — given to someone in need.

Usually yes, on the same dates — at forty days, six months, one year. The parastas is the prayer part; the pomană is the act of charity.

The priest. He leads the memorial service, reads the name of the departed, and blesses the coliva and the pomană.

The family, in the name of the departed. The pomană is given to someone in need or to those close to the family, as an act of charity for the soul of the departed.

At three days, nine days, forty days, six months, and one year after death, then annually. Added to these are the Moșii and the Saturdays of the Dead.

Food — the memorial meal, colaci, dishes — or objects — vessels, clothing, candles. The form remains at the family's discretion and means.

The coliva accompanies the parastas, being blessed at the service, but is also distributed — making it part of the pomană too. It bridges the two parts of the memorial.

Usually to someone in need or to someone close. What matters is the act of charity made in the name of the departed, not to whom it is given.

They can be held separately, but tradition links them. The core remains the prayer service; the pomană accompanies it as an act of goodness for the soul.

Coliva, colaci, candles, and wine for the blessing, plus coordination with the priest for the date of the service. For the pomană, the meal and the gifts.

Yes. At memorials, the family also visits the grave, lights a candle, and distributes colaci or sweets as pomană to those present.

It is the pomană given at certain major memorials, with more substantial objects — vessels, clothing, sometimes furniture — according to local tradition and the family's means.

We coordinate the service with the priest and prepare everything needed for the pomană — coliva, colaci, the memorial meal — so the family can pray in peace.

For the service, the family gives the priest a sum according to their means and local custom. There is no fixed fee — it is a gift for the ministry rendered.

Usually the women of the family or someone experienced in the tradition. Coliva can also be ordered ready-made. We can also help prepare it.

Enough for the number of people expected at the memorial, so that everyone receives a portion. For a larger parastas, more is prepared accordingly.

Yes — at home, at church, or at the cemetery, with a priest. The core is the memorial service, with the blessing of the coliva and the pomană.

Traditional dishes — fasting or non-fasting depending on the day — colaci, coliva, wine, and water. The specific foods vary by region and local custom.

No. The pomană can be given at home, at a meal, or directly to someone in need. What matters is the act of charity in the name of the departed's soul.

The list of names of the departed, given to the priest to read during the service. It names those for whom the parastas is being performed.

Yes. After the first anniversary, the memorial is held annually on the date of death, with parastas and pomană, for as long as the family wishes.

Usually to a date around the appointed time — often the nearest weekend so the family can gather. The priest helps you choose the right day.

A regular wine, used for the blessing of the coliva and given as pomană. Tradition also calls for a glass of water for the soul of the departed.

Yes. The forty-day memorial is one of the most important, with both parastas and pomană, alongside coliva and colaci.

You can send a pomelnic and the necessary items to the church, through family or with our help, so that the departed person's name is read at the service.

Money is less traditional. Colaci, food, objects, or candles are more customary. Money can be given as a charitable donation to someone in need, if the family wishes.

According to the number of guests expected and local custom. The colaci are distributed to those present and given as pomană alongside the coliva.

Yes. Tradition marks memorials at three and seven years after death as well, with parastas and pomană, in addition to the annual ones.