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GUIDE · OBITUARY

The obituary: how to write one and a template to follow

An obituary is the commemorative text that evokes the life of the departed — more substantial than the death notice. It is read at the ceremony or published, to honour the person's memory and bring comfort to the family. A good obituary tells who the person was, what they left behind, and why they will be remembered — in a sober, dignified tone. In this guide you will find the structure, what it must contain, and obituary wording you can draw on, for different situations.

Updated: 27 September 20262,030 wordsReviewed by The Sobru team
Open notebook with a pencil, a cup of tea and a mobile phone on a wooden table beside a chair
Illustrative image for the guide above.

In brief

  • A good obituary tells who the person was, what they left behind, and why they will be remembered — in a sober, dignified tone.
  • The obituary is written in a sober, dignified tone, without exaggeration.
  • For a religious ceremony, the obituary may include expressions of faith — "May God grant him rest".
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Contents · 9 sections

What is an obituary?

An obituary is a text that evokes the life and qualities of the departed. Unlike the death notice, which merely announces the death, the obituary honours the memory through a brief look at the person's life.

It is read at the ceremony, by a family member or the officiant, or published in a newspaper and online.

Manila folder with certificates and a white envelope on top
Illustrative image: drafting an obituary.

Obituary or death notice?

The two complement each other. The death notice is short and calls people to the funeral. The obituary is more substantial and evokes the life of the departed.

Many families use the notice to announce the funeral and the obituary to honour the memory — at the ceremony or in the press.

What an obituary contains

An obituary typically includes several elements:

  • Full name and years of life (birth – death)
  • A few milestones — profession, role in the family
  • The qualities for which the person will be remembered
  • The family left behind
  • A warm closing farewell

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The structure of an obituary

A clear obituary follows a simple thread:

  • Opening — the news of the passing and the name
  • Biography — milestones from the person's life
  • Tribute — the qualities and the memory left behind
  • Closing — the farewell and the bereaved family
Funeral floral arrangements on the hood and side of a hearse, ready to depart
Illustrative image: an obituary read at the ceremony.

Obituary template

A sober text with fill-in spaces. Replace the bracketed details with the actual information:

"[Full Name] has passed away, born on [date] in [place]. He/She was [profession/role], a person of [qualities — for example: gentle, hardworking, devoted to family]. He/She is survived by [family — spouse, children, grandchildren], who will keep his/her memory alive. Those who knew him/her will remember him/her for [quality]. May God grant him/her eternal rest. The bereaved family."

The elements of an obituary and the wording from the text above, with the fill-in spaces.
ElementWhat to fill inWording from the text
Name and years of life[Full Name], [date], [place]"[Full Name] has passed away, born on [date] in [place]…"
Milestones from their life[profession/role]"He/She was [profession/role]…"
The qualities remembered[qualities], [quality]"…a person of [qualities]. Those who knew him/her will remember him/her for [quality]."
The family left behind[family — spouse, children, grandchildren]"He/She is survived by [family], who will keep his/her memory alive…"
Closing farewella phrase suited to the ceremony"May God grant him/her eternal rest. The bereaved family."

For a civil ceremony, replace the religious phrase with a neutral one, such as "Forever in our memory".

Tone and style

The obituary is written in a sober, dignified tone, without exaggeration. A few sincere recollections say more than sweeping praise.

For a newspaper or for reading at the ceremony, write in the third person, simply and warmly. For a memorial published online, a letter addressed directly to the person also works, as many of the texts below do. A brief anecdote that reveals the character of the departed brings the text to life.

For a religious or civil ceremony

For a religious ceremony, the obituary may include expressions of faith — "May God grant him rest". For a civil ceremony, neutral phrases are used, such as "Forever in our memory".

Whatever the form, the core remains the same: honouring, with gratitude, the person who has departed.

Patriarchate of Romania — customs and phrases

Where the obituary is used

The obituary is read at the ceremony, by a close person or the officiant, or published in a newspaper and online. Some families also print it on a memorial card distributed at the service.

The length is matched to the setting: shorter for a newspaper, more substantial for reading aloud at the ceremony.

How we help

We help you write the obituary, choose the right tone, and prepare it for the ceremony or for publication, alongside the rest of the funeral services.

We are available day and night. For a no-obligation conversation, call us or see our funeral services.

Steps summary

  1. Gather the memories and milestones

    The years, profession, role in the family, the person's qualities, and a brief anecdote that reveals their character.

  2. Follow the structure

    Open with the news and the name, then a short biography, then a tribute to the person's qualities, then a closing farewell.

  3. Match the tone and length

    Sober and dignified: in the third person for a newspaper or the ceremony, or as a letter to the person for an online memorial. Shorter for a newspaper, more substantial for reading aloud at the ceremony.

INSPIRATION · BY SITUATION

Obituary wording you can draw on

Choose the text closest to what you feel and replace the parts in square brackets with the name, the years and your own memories of the person. You can then read it at the service, or publish it free of charge on sobru.ro after a short review.

Change any word you like: the right obituary is the one written in your own voice. When you publish on sobru.ro, we add the closing words (“Memory eternal”, “Rest in peace” or “Forever in our memory”) based on the faith of the person who died.

  • Daisies and lilac in a glass jar beside an embroidered cloth on a windowsill, under a lace curtain

    For a mother

    Written by her children, speaking directly to their mother.

    Mum,

    Every time we open a kitchen cupboard, you are there: in the jars lined up on the shelf, the tea towels folded just so, the recipe for [what they loved] that none of us can make quite the way you did.

    You heard us before we called. You waited up, however late it was, and never once admitted you were tired. For [years] you carried more than any of us knew, and asked for nothing back.

    The memory we hold closest is [a memory of your own].

    We will say your name at our table and in our prayers. Rest now, Mum, in the light of God.

    — With love, [family]

  • Worn gardening tools resting against a blooming apple tree in the afternoon light (illustrative image)

    For a father

    For a quiet father who showed his love through what he did.

    Dad was a man of few words. He said what mattered through what he did: the fence mended before the first frost, the young trees he grafted in the garden, the night drives so that we never went without.

    [Name] taught us to keep our word, to take pride in honest work and to look people in the eye. There was nothing he could not fix, except this parting.

    We still picture him in the yard, sleeves rolled up, busy with [what they loved]. We hold on to [a memory of your own], and we will try to become the people he hoped we would be.

    Thank you, Dad, for everything you built without ever asking for thanks.

    May God grant him rest.

    — [family]

  • Romanian embroidered tablecloth with a lit beeswax candle and a bowl of boiled wheat (illustrative image)

    For a grandmother

    From the grandchildren, for a grandmother rooted in home, faith and tradition.

    Grandma always had something set aside for us: a cake hidden in the cupboard, a coin slipped into a pocket, a story told softly at bedtime.

    [Name]'s house smelled of quinces and beeswax. Her hand-stitched cloth lay on the table, and a small oil lamp glowed beneath the icon in the corner. She taught us our first prayers, and that bread is never thrown away.

    She lived [years], and she never let us leave without making the sign of the cross after us from the gate. Now it is our turn to pray for her.

    We will remember [a memory of your own], and the joy she found in [what they loved].

    May God rest her with the righteous.

    — Her grandchildren, [family]

  • Old wooden bench under a walnut tree, with fallen leaves and walnuts, in a village yard in autumn

    For a grandfather

    From the grandchildren, for a hard-working grandfather who always had time for them.

    There is a bench under the walnut tree where Grandpa sat in the evenings. From there he could see the whole street, knew every neighbour by their walk, and had a kind word for anyone passing by.

    [Name] worked from first light until dark, yet he always found time for his grandchildren. He taught us to ride a bicycle, to read the weather in the clouds, and never to leave a job half done.

    The bench is still there. In the evening, when the walnut's shadow stretches across the yard, part of us still waits for him to come out, put on his hat and ask what we have been up to.

    We treasure [a memory of your own] and his love for [what they loved].

    Rest in peace, Grandpa.

    — His grandchildren, [family]

  • Two gold wedding rings on an embroidered white handkerchief beside a small porcelain dish on a wooden table

    For a wife

    From a husband, after a long life together.

    My dearest,

    For [years] we shared the same table, the same window, the same worries and the same joys. We argued over nothing and made peace every night before sleep, just as we promised on our wedding day.

    The house is far too quiet without you. I still hear your steps in the hallway and catch myself setting out two cups. Your ring now rests on the prayer book you read from in the evenings.

    You turned four walls into a home. You always found the right word when I had none.

    I am left with [a memory of your own], and with the prayer I now say each night, in your place.

    May God give you rest, my love, until we meet again.

    — Your husband, [family]

  • Folded wool coat on the back of a chair by a window at dawn (illustrative image)

    For a husband

    From a wife, for a caring husband who said little and did a great deal.

    Your coat is still over the back of the chair, where you left it. I have not yet found the strength to hang it up.

    [Name], you were the one I leaned on for [years]. You were always up first, put the coffee on, and checked the door twice before bed. You did not often say “I love you”, but you showed it every day: in the errands you ran, the car you warmed up for me on winter mornings, the quiet care that nobody in our home was ever cold.

    I miss your laugh at the table and the way you talked about [what they loved].

    I keep [a memory of your own] as something sacred.

    I pray for your soul, and I thank God for every day He gave us together.

    May God rest your soul and give you peace.

    — Your wife, [family]

  • White snowdrops and small blue squills among dry oak leaves and green moss in early spring

    For a child

    For parents who have lost a child; it asks for no details and does not mention the cause.

    [Name], our precious child,

    You were with us for far too short a time, yet you filled our home with the best of everything: your laughter, your endless questions, the light you carried into every room.

    There are no words for a parting like this, and we are not looking for them. We simply hold on to what you gave us: [a memory of your own], your delight in [what they loved], the way your hand felt in ours.

    We pray that God holds you close, where there is no more pain and no more tears. And we will carry you with us every day, until we are together again.

    We light a candle for you and say your name with love, dear soul.

    — Those who will love you always, [family]

  • Two old bicycles, one full-size and one smaller, leaning against a wooden fence beside a village dirt lane

    For a brother or sister

    For a brother or a sister; the wording fits either.

    We grew up in the same room, fought over the same toys, and stood up for each other against the whole world. You knew all my secrets and never once held them against me.

    [Name], life took us down different roads, but every time we met again it felt as if neither of us had ever left home. A few words on the phone were enough to remind me I was never on my own.

    I keep the childhood we shared, [a memory of your own], and the way you laughed whenever someone mentioned [what they loved].

    I will look after the people you loved, just as you would have done for me.

    May God give you rest, [Name].

    — [family]

  • Two wooden chairs and a small table with two steaming mugs on a porch overlooking a misty valley

    For a friend

    For a lifelong friend, man or woman, speaking to them directly.

    We do not choose our family, but we do choose our friends. I chose you a long time ago and never regretted a single day.

    [Name], you were the one I could call at any hour. You never asked why; you simply came. You stood beside me at weddings and at funerals, through house moves and hospital corridors, at long holiday dinners and on the evenings when neither of us felt like talking.

    There are still two chairs on the porch. One of them will always be yours.

    Thank you for [a memory of your own], for your jokes, and for everything you taught me about [what they loved].

    I pray that God gives you rest and peace. Until we meet again, I carry you with me.

    — [family]

  • Green notebook, old books, a fountain pen, reading glasses and a mug of tea on an old desk by a window

    For a colleague or mentor

    On behalf of colleagues, for a co-worker or teacher; change he and his to she and her where needed.

    It is with deep sadness that we say goodbye to [Name], our colleague and mentor.

    Many of us learned our trade at his side. He was patient with newcomers, honest without ever being unkind, and he stayed late to finish whatever he had promised. His door was always open, and the well-worn notebook on his desk was shared with anyone who asked.

    He gave [years] to his work with the same care, but what people will remember most is his decency. He showed us that a job done well is a way of respecting others.

    We will keep [a memory of your own] and his passion for [what they loved].

    Our thoughts are with [family], and we pray for the peace of his soul.

    — His colleagues

  • Knitted scarf, house keys and a geranium on a windowsill, with raindrops on the glass (illustrative image)

    When death came without warning

    For a sudden loss with no chance to say goodbye; it does not mention the cause of death.

    We never got to say goodbye. That is what hurts the most.

    [Name], that morning began like any other. You said “see you tonight” and closed the door behind you, and the evening never came the way we knew it would. What remains is an unread message, a book left open halfway, and all the plans we had made for the summer ahead.

    We do not understand why. Perhaps we never will. All we know is that you were loved every single day of your life, and nothing can take that away.

    We hold on to [a memory of your own], and to the light in your eyes whenever you talked about [what they loved].

    We pray that God receives your soul gently, and gives us the strength to go on, carrying you with us.

    May God grant you rest.

    — [family]

  • Three haystacks on a green hillside, wet after rain, with mist lying across the valley in the morning

    After a long illness

    For someone who was ill for a long time; it also thanks those who cared for them.

    [Name] carried these last years with a patience we will never forget. There were no complaints and no wish to worry anyone; even on the hardest days, the first question was always how we were doing.

    We learned what quiet courage looks like: giving thanks for a morning without pain, for an open window, for a short visit. In those months we grew closer than ever. We talked, we asked each other's forgiveness, and we said the things we had never found the time to say.

    Now the suffering is over. We hope and pray that [Name] has found rest in the peace of God.

    Our heartfelt thanks go to everyone who stayed close until the end: doctors, nurses, friends and neighbours.

    We keep [a memory of your own], and the joy that [what they loved] brought, right up to the final days.

    May God rest their soul.

    — [family]

  • Unfolded map, a thermos and a canvas bag on the table by a train window, with a village and hills outside

    For someone who died far from home

    For someone who lived or died abroad, whether brought home or remembered from afar.

    You left with one suitcase, meaning to come back in a few years. You worked far from the people you loved, sent parcels home for the holidays, and phoned every Sunday to ask how the garden was doing and who had dropped by.

    [Name], the road home turned out longer than any of us imagined. Yet the distance never kept us apart for a single day. Now you are home again: in our prayers, at the table where your place was always kept, among the people who waited for you.

    Thank you for everything you did for us from so far away. We keep [a memory of your own], and your longing for [what they loved], which came up in every call.

    May God grant you rest.

    — [family], in Romania and abroad

  • Wildflowers and a lit candle on a stone ledge at dusk (illustrative image)

    Without religious wording

    For families who want a farewell without religious wording.

    We say goodbye to you, [Name], with gratitude for everything you were.

    You lived [years] with your eyes open to the world, curious, fair-minded and always ready to listen. You knew how to enjoy simple things: an unhurried walk, a good book, a long dinner with friends, [what they loved]. You never liked being the centre of attention, yet your absence is felt in every room.

    You taught us that gentleness is not weakness, and that a kind word at the right moment can change someone's day.

    We keep [a memory of your own], and your gift for turning any gathering into a celebration.

    What you gave lives on in us, in the people you helped, and in everything we built together.

    — [family]

ONLINE OBITUARY · FREE

Publish the obituary on sobru.ro, free of charge

Publishing is free. You send us the text and, if you wish, a photograph. After a short review, the obituary appears on its own page, with a link you can send to family and friends on WhatsApp, on Facebook or by text message. Everyone who knew the person can read it and leave a message for the family.

For Christians, to remember the departed is to remember them before God, in prayer. You can end your words with a short prayer and ask for their name to be read in church. In every faith, a memory kept with love is never lost.

You can also publish a death notice in the same section, with the date, time and place of the funeral service.

Publish the obituaryPublish a death notice

Information verified with

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FREQUENT QUESTIONS

What families ask most often

  • What is an obituary?

    It is the commemorative text that evokes the life and qualities of the departed, more substantial than the death notice. It is read at the ceremony or published.

  • What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

    The death notice is short and calls people to the funeral. The obituary is more substantial and honours the memory, evoking the life of the departed.

  • What must an obituary contain?

    The name and years of life, a few milestones, the qualities for which the person will be remembered, the family left behind, and a warm closing farewell.

  • How long should it be?

    Long enough to fit naturally in the setting — shorter for a newspaper, more substantial for reading at the ceremony. A few paragraphs are enough.

  • Who reads the obituary?

    Usually a family member or someone close, or the officiant of the ceremony. What matters is that the person can read it calmly.

  • Where can I find wording to draw on for an obituary?

    Further down this guide you will find obituary texts for different situations: for a mother, a father, grandparents, a husband or wife, a child, a sibling, a friend, a colleague, a sudden loss, a long illness, someone who died far from home, or a farewell without religious wording. Choose the text closest to what you feel, replace the parts in square brackets and add your own memories.

  • How do I adapt the text before publishing it?

    Replace every part in square brackets with the name, the years and your own memories, then read the text aloud. Take out anything that does not sound like the person you lost and add a moment that was theirs alone. There is no need to type the closing words or your signature: when you publish the obituary on sobru.ro, the signature goes in its own field and we add the closing words based on the faith you choose.

  • What tone is used?

    Sober and dignified, without exaggeration. A few sincere recollections say more than sweeping praise. For a newspaper or the ceremony, write in the third person; for an online memorial, you can also speak directly to the person, simply and warmly.

  • Can I include a personal anecdote?

    Yes, it is actually recommended. A brief anecdote that reveals the character of the departed brings the text to life and makes it more meaningful to those present.

  • Can an obituary be published in a newspaper?

    Yes, it can be published in a newspaper and online. For a newspaper, choose a shorter version; for the ceremony, a more substantial one.

  • Can I write an obituary for a civil ceremony?

    Yes. For a civil ceremony or a farewell without religious wording, replace the phrases of faith with neutral ones, such as "Forever in our memory". You can start from the “Without religious wording” text below; if you publish the obituary on sobru.ro, choose “No religious affiliation” and we add the neutral closing for you. The core remains honouring the departed.

  • What should not be included in an obituary?

    The exact cause of death, intimate details, or family disputes. You can say that your loved one lived with a long illness and thank those who cared for them, without naming the illness. The obituary honours the memory; it maintains a dignified, serene tone throughout.

  • Can I write the obituary in advance?

    Yes. Some people prefer to gather memories and milestones in advance. When needed, close ones can help complete it with the help of the funeral home.

  • Is the obituary printed on a memorial card?

    Sometimes, yes. A short obituary or a few lines of remembrance can be printed on the memorial card distributed to those present.

  • Can you help me write the obituary?

    Yes. We help you write it, choose the right tone, and prepare it for the ceremony or for publication.

  • Who writes the obituary?

    Usually a family member or someone close who knew the departed well. If needed, the funeral home can help with a well-crafted text.

  • How much time do I have to write it?

    The obituary is prepared in the days before the funeral. If time is short, a few sincere lines are enough; it does not have to be long.

  • In what person is the obituary written?

    For a newspaper or for reading at the ceremony, usually in the third person — "he was a person of…". For a memorial published online, a letter addressed directly to the person also works — "Mum, you taught us…". The tone remains sober and warm.

  • Can I include professional achievements?

    Yes, briefly. A profession, an important role, or an achievement the person was known for has its place, without turning the text into a list.

  • Can I include a verse or a prayer?

    Yes. A favourite verse, a short prayer, or a thought left behind by the departed gives depth to the obituary, especially at the end.

  • What if I do not know where to begin?

    Start with the news and the name, then a few milestones from the person's life. The structure in this guide gives you a thread; complete it with the right memories.

  • How do I close an obituary?

    With a warm farewell and, where appropriate, a phrase — "May God grant him rest" or "Forever in our memory" — and "the bereaved family". For a memorial published on sobru.ro there is no need to type it: we add the closing words and your signature at the end.

  • Is an obituary different from a eulogy?

    They are closely related. The obituary is the written text that evokes the life of the departed; the eulogy is the spoken word at the ceremony. Often the same text serves both purposes.

  • Can I write a short obituary?

    Yes. A short obituary of a few lines is suitable for a newspaper or a memorial card. Sincerity matters more than length.

  • Is the obituary read or published?

    Both. It is read at the ceremony by a close person or the officiant, and can be published in a newspaper or online. The length is matched to the setting.

  • Can I write an obituary for a parent?

    Yes, and it is a deeply meaningful gesture. If emotion makes it difficult to write, another family member or the funeral home can help, working from your memories.

  • Can I add a photograph?

    Yes, especially online or on the memorial card. A sober photograph of the departed accompanies the obituary beautifully.

  • What do I avoid in an obituary?

    The cause of death, intimate details, family disputes, or exaggerated praise. The obituary keeps a dignified, serene, and sincere tone throughout.

  • Can I prepare the obituary well in advance?

    Yes. Some people gather memories and milestones about their loved ones in advance. When needed, the obituary can then be written more easily and calmly.

  • Is the obituary handed out to those present?

    Sometimes, yes. A short obituary can be printed on a memorial card distributed to those present at the ceremony or at the memorial meal.

  • Can the obituary be translated into another language?

    Yes, if you have relatives or friends abroad. The obituary can be translated into English or another language, keeping the sober tone of the original.

  • Is the obituary kept after the funeral?

    Many families keep it as a keepsake. Printed or published online, the obituary remains a testimony to the life and memory of the departed.

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