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GUIDE · FUNERAL WISHES

Leaving your funeral wishes in writing: how it works and why it helps

A funeral wishes document — sometimes called a testament de înmormântare (funeral testament) — is not a property will; it is a written record of your preferences for your own funeral: burial or cremation, the location, the type of ceremony, and other choices. It lifts a great burden from the family at a painful moment and ensures your wishes are respected. The wishes can be placed in a clause of a notarised will or in a separate document left with the family. This guide explains how it is done and why it matters.

Updated: 22 June 20261,600 wordsReviewed by Andrei
sobru.ro — Romanian funeral services
Illustrative image for the guide above.

What a funeral wishes document is

A funeral wishes document is a written record of your preferences for your own funeral. It does not concern your estate; it concerns how you want to be farewelled.

It is not legally required, but it is an act of care for the people you love. It spares them difficult questions at a moment of grief and ensures your wishes can be followed.

Manila folder with certificates and a white envelope on top
Illustrative image: funeral wishes set down in writing.

Why it helps the family

In the immediate aftermath of a loss, the family must make many decisions quickly. Written wishes spare them uncertainty and potential disagreements between relatives.

For cremation in particular, the deceased's written wish has legal priority and simplifies the formalities, because otherwise the consent of next of kin is required.

What you can include

Funeral wishes can cover, according to your preferences:

  • Burial or cremation
  • The chosen cemetery plot or columbarium
  • The type of ceremony — religious or secular
  • The officiant, church, or form of service
  • Preferences for the coffin, flowers, or music
  • Instructions about repatriation, if you live abroad

Property will or wishes document

Funeral wishes can be placed in a clause of a notarised (authentic) will, or in a separate, simpler document left with the family.

Important: a property will is often opened after the funeral, at probate. This is why, for funeral wishes specifically, it is important that the family knows them in advance.

Notarial information — National Union of Romanian Notaries

How to leave the document

The safest approach is to tell your family your wishes in advance and put them in a straightforward document that is easy to find. For a more secure form, you can include them in a notarised will.

What matters most is that the family knows where the document is and what you wanted, so your wishes can be followed at the right time.

Cremation and the written wish

For cremation, the deceased's written wish is particularly valuable. If it exists, it replaces the next-of-kin consent that is otherwise required for cremation.

So if you want to be cremated, a clear written note spares your family a difficult decision and possible disagreements.

Advance planning

Some people go further and plan their funeral in advance — settling the details and even the costs, usually without any upfront payment. It is an act of care for the family.

We can help you put your wishes on paper and plan, calmly and without obligation.

Mistakes to avoid

Some mistakes make wishes hard to follow:

  • Wishes left only verbally — easy to forget or dispute
  • A document hidden where the family cannot find it in time
  • Vague wording, without clear details about the ceremony
  • Wishes the family does not know about until after the will is opened

How we help

We help you put your funeral wishes in writing — clearly and completely — and keep them in a form the family can easily follow.

We are available day and night. Call us or see our funeral services for a no-obligation conversation.

STEP BY STEP

Steps summary

  1. 01

    Decide on your wishes

    Burial or cremation, the location, the type of ceremony, preferences for coffin, flowers, or music.

  2. 02

    Put them in writing

    In a simple document left with the family, or in a clause of a notarised will for a more secure form.

  3. 03

    Tell the family

    Let them know your wishes in advance and where the document is, so they can be followed.

OFFICIAL SOURCES

Information verified with

FREQUENT QUESTIONS

What families ask most often

  • What is a funeral wishes document?

    It is a written record of your wishes for your own funeral — burial or cremation, location, ceremony. It does not concern your estate; it concerns how you want to be farewelled.

  • Is it the same as a property will?

    No. A property will concerns the estate and is opened at probate. Funeral wishes concern the ceremony, and it is important that the family knows them in advance.

  • Why leave wishes in writing?

    To ease the family's burden at a painful time and to ensure your wishes are respected, without uncertainty or disagreements between relatives.

  • What can I include?

    Burial or cremation, the cemetery plot, the type of ceremony, the officiant or form of service, preferences for coffin, flowers, music, and instructions about repatriation.

  • Where do I leave the document?

    In a simple document, easy to find, left with the family, or in a clause of a notarised will for a more secure form. The family must know where it is.

  • Are written wishes binding on the family?

    The family is morally expected to respect them. For cremation, the written wish has legal priority and replaces the next-of-kin consent that is otherwise required.

  • Why does it matter for cremation?

    Because cremation requires written consent. If you have left in writing a wish to be cremated, this replaces the next-of-kin consent and simplifies the formalities.

  • Do I need to go to a notary?

    Not necessarily. A simple document left with the family is sufficient for wishes. For a more secure form, you can include them in a notarised will.

  • What is advance funeral planning?

    It is settling the details of your funeral in advance — sometimes including the costs, usually without any upfront payment. An act of care that spares the family difficult decisions.

  • Can I change my wishes later?

    Yes, at any time. Funeral wishes are not final; you can update them by replacing the old document or amending the clause in the will.

  • Can the family disregard my wishes?

    Morally, no. For cremation, the written wish has legal priority. For all other wishes, making them clear and known in advance is the best safeguard.

  • Can I leave wishes if I live abroad?

    Yes. You can also include instructions about repatriation — whether you want to be brought home — and about the location and ceremony you prefer.

  • Can my wishes cover costs too?

    They can include budget preferences. Through advance planning, costs can also be settled, usually without upfront payment, so the family knows what to expect.

  • What if I want cremation but my family objects?

    Leave the wish in writing, clearly. For cremation, the deceased's written wish has legal priority and replaces the next-of-kin consent.

  • Does the notary keep the document?

    If included in a notarised will, the notary keeps it. A simple wishes document is left with the family or a trusted person.

  • When is the will opened after death?

    A property will is opened at the notary, at probate, often after the funeral. This is why funeral wishes specifically should be known to the family in advance.

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